Stop running away from your problems. There's so many of you who just want to peace out as soon as a problem comes your way. You need to stick around. The problem with running away from your problems, is that the problem doesn't go away. It's an escape. You can say "I don't want to deal with this right now." Or, "I'm overwhelmed." and that's normal, that's a regular reaction to going through something that.
But the problem is that we think that is going to help us in the long run. But really it kills us in the short-term, and the faster you deal with problems in the short-term, the faster you can get to that long term feeling, the ultimate goal and outcome that you're looking for.
"Avoidance is a great solution for short term pain, but it creates long term suffering."
So, what I want you to start thinking about today is; how can you start to deal with that faster? Because the problems that you encounter in your life are necessary. They're there for a reason. That reason might be that they're helping direct you or sculpt you into the person you need to be or change your direction into that new future you're looking for. They are definitely there to help make you stronger.
When people think "Kevin, how did you get through battling suicide? Or how did you get through rebuilding your life after the Olympics?" Or whatever the case may be, is that all of these situations have made me stronger in the end to deal with what I'm dealing with today in my life.
I have three steps for you to think about when you're facing problems in your life and how you can help become more resilient.
Number one. Decide. Decide on how you're going to approach that situation and the attitude that you bring to that problem. So the first step is just deciding, "I'm going to deal with this. I'm going to deal with it now. I know it's going to be tough, but I'm going to stay here, I'm going to stick around and figure out a solution today as quickly as I possibly can, because I know that if I leave this problem it's going to live longer." And it's going to become bigger in your mind, it's going to build up in your mind. And then the longer and the more that it does that, the more it's going to seem insurmountable or something you don't want to deal with, it's going to grow. So the faster you can decide and choose the attitude to deal with it, the faster you can solve that problem, okay?
Decide. Decide on how you're going to approach that situation and the attitude that you bring to that problem.
Number two is, decide what is the next best step? You may not know what that long-term solution is yet, but decide in this exact moment, what is that one solution that I can deal with today, right now? The next best decision that will help me get to the next best decision. Don't think about solving the whole entire problem at once. But what can I do right now to move myself forward and in that new direction that I want to get to?
You may not know what that long-term solution is yet, but decide in this exact moment, what is that one solution that I can deal with today, right now?
The third thing is to be consistent. Pause. If you need to pause and you need to step away for a bit, cool, but you don't need to run away. If you pause and hit the reset button, that gives you time and a moment to reflect. But you need to be consistent in facing that as soon as you can get yourself back there to the problem again. If you can take a five minute break and do a 10 minute meditation or a 30 minute meditation, whatever it is to calm your mind down, then go do that. If you need a day, because it's a big problem, like, let's use an example like, you know, maybe the email fired you up and it's like, okay, pause five minutes, I can take a step back, but then I'm going to go back and deal with this again, in the office or wherever you are.
If you pause and hit the reset button, that gives you time and a moment to reflect.
If it's relationship problems going on, like I had a fight with my spouse, you know, that might need more than five minutes to deal with, maybe you need to step back for a day or a couple of days. I don't know what that problem is. But you need to be patient and consistent in dealing with that problem and continuing to go back to it as soon as you possibly can. Only you know what that is. But like I said, going back to the first things, the longer you let it live on, the longer it's going to take to resolve. And the sooner that you can regroup yourself and develop that confidence to go and approach it again, the sooner you can deal with and solve that problem.
So what I want to do is recap, is that most of us think that we want to run away from our problems, and we want to start to develop the confidence and the attitude to decide to face those problems head-on. You want to decide, what is the next best step that you can take to help getting closer to solving that problem? And three, what can I do to take a step back and pause but be consistent in relentlessly pursuing resolving that problem? This is what's going to help develop the resilience in your life to face bigger challenges in your life later on. So that's it, guys. Remember that problems are there for a reason. They're there to help you become stronger, and the sooner you deal with them, the sooner they're going to get solved.
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About Kevin Rempel:
Paralympian, keynote speaker, and founder of the corporate team building program, The Sledge Hockey Experience, I help people change their perspective about life and people with disabilities. Visit www.kevinrempel.com for more information.