Your Mind Is Like A Magnet

It was July of 2022 when I was attending a VIP coaching day with Steph Tuss and David Neagle of Life Is Now Inc. I was giving them the backstory of my life, trying to help uncover “the thing” that has been plaguing me for years of my life.

I found the answer I was looking for here, at The Hoffman Process...

I was on a call with a VP the other day who was stuck in a bad headspace.

She has been burning the candle at both ends to make sure the company and her team keeps moving forward, while ignoring her own wellbeing.

During our call, we began discussing why she had let things get so bad and more importantly I asked her “How long will you wait?”.

And she replied, “Wait for what?”.

I said, “Until you hit the intolerable red line”...

Recently, I visited a spinal cord injury facility here in New Zealand and saw a flyer on the wall for what's called the "Disability Iceberg".

It's quite amazing as it provides a visual representation of the varying ways we may typically "see" people with disabilities.

In this case it's referencing a Quadriplegic, Paraplegic, and Walking SCI Person (as I am) and I thought this model is quite the example as we consider how we can be more empathetic towards others with what hidden challenges people may be dealing with...

Today, there is a lot of discussion happening in Canada surrounding the topic of M.A.I.D – Medical Assistance in Dying.

There is controversy around how this is a dangerous, slippery slope in the realm of people who struggle with mental health issues.

There is controversy around who this is for, how this is being presented, what the moral considerations are, how this affects different cultural and religious beliefs, and much more.

Many serious conversations are to be had for some very practical reasons.

Personally, I have experienced suicide within my family from three very different perspectives.

My father committed suicide in 2007. I was suicidal in 2008 and 2015, but am still here, and my grandmother, “GG”, just passed away in October 2022 by M.A.I.D.

Each scenario came by its own unique situation with individual factors to consider. Given the depth of my experience, I hope that by sharing my story I can help bring another perspective to help people understand what a mental health journey can look like, as well as when, in my opinion, ending one’s life may seem appropriate...

Change is constant.

Especially in the world we live in today, there seems to be little certainty in what tomorrow will look like, let alone next week.

Fear creeps in, and before we know it, we feel like we have lost control, find ourselves stuck and unable to move forward...

For the first time in my life, I am experiencing the holidays with no snow.

It feels unusual, that’s for sure. Even just a few short weeks ago while I was in the Dominican Republic, I saw a few Christmas lights near palm trees, and it makes your head turn a little sideways when you think about it.

Today, I am in New Zealand. Mom and I are spending three months here visiting my sister, and I am continuing my journey travelling and working abroad.

The transition hasn’t been an easy one. I have alluded to some of the decisions I have made in recent blogs such as choosing what makes you happy and knowing when to walk away. All awhile, as usual, I kept up many articles on mental health, resilience, and change management.

Behind the scenes I struggled with my physical health...

As the holidays are now just a few days away from officially beginning, I have seen several posts online from people reflecting and sharing some of their lessons from the past year.

Without question, there have continued to be many challenges that made 2022 just as difficult as the year prior, but in different ways.

In 2020/2021, my biggest challenges were financial. In 2022, it has been my physical health.

Recently, I posted a few articles including how to make the most of and how to be mindful over the holidays.

Today, instead of giving you something else to possibly help you push harder, I am recommending you give yourself one thing to send you in the opposite direction...

They say, “tough times don’t last forever." But in the moments where we’re in the thick of things, it can be hard to believe.

A trait that has helped me get through the challenges and setbacks that come my way is grit—a big part of my growth mindset.

Although grit is often used interchangeably with resilience, there is a difference between the two...

I can’t tell you how many times I have been asked for advice on how to help someone who is struggling with mental health.

From my experience, I think the number one thing you can do is to listen… but I know that often you want to do more, but just don’t know how.

In the past, I have had one of my closest friends come to me and (thankfully) be comfortable in admitting that he has been experiencing suicidal thoughts.

Now, I know this might easily turn into an unpopular topic in the sense that sometimes the last thing that anyone wants to do is to “set goals” for the holidays.

This is your time to disconnect, let go, and just be human. I get it.

BUT!

What you don’t want to do is come out of the holidays worse than when they started...

I was recently at a buddy’s cottage and had the pleasure of meeting some of his friends, one of which was a first responder. As we all sat together, I listened to him explain the ongoing struggles he’d been experiencing, as a result of the emotional and physical demands of his job.

He spoke of his inability to get a good night’s sleep, and of the excessive drinking that often followed. What blew me away was when he said, “I just gotta make it through another six years so I can retire on a beach and forget about all my problems”.

Have you ever had that same belief, that if you were simply on a beach that all your problems would go away...

A couple of weeks ago I had to bump my meeting twice, which really bugged me.

Not because I had a more important meeting.

Not because I had another meeting run late.

Not because something better came up and I had to lie about why I couldn’t attend my meeting in the first place.

No, I had to bump my meeting three times because I was getting burnt out. I was getting down on myself. And when your mental fatigue and energy go, so do your thoughts.

I was embarrassed, ashamed, and I was honest about it.

When I was able to connect with my friend, as most of us will do, I started to apologize multiple times for having to reschedule but then something cool happened...

With the seasons changing, it’s easy to find yourself reevaluating your life goals. Maybe it was as a result of finally pulling out that vision board you made a year ago, or maybe you’ve just found yourself completely unenthusiastic about activities that once brought you joy. At times, it can even be caused by unavoidable signs showing us that it’s time for a change in our lives. Whether triggered by a singular moment, or a series of events, these signs cause our minds to envision a new version of our future selves. As we reflect, it forces us to quickly acknowledge the spaces that we’ve outgrown – our circumstances, our relationships, or our jobs...

Becoming overwhelmed by stress can lead to mental health problems or make existing problems worse. Today is Stress Awareness Day, a day to highlight the ways that stress can affect people and what you can do to manage your stress before it becomes a problem.

I’ve outlined my experience with stress, and three quick tips to help you manage your stress better...

One of the biggest challenges we will continue to face in 2023 is learning the ability to turn off work while working from home.

Employers often reach out seeking help in delivering a keynote or a workshop to encourage employees to create space in their calendar and prioritize self-care while balancing work life and home life.

By never disconnecting, employees can find themselves working 10, 12, sometimes 14-hour days and running into the risk of burnout as they strive to meet work demands and not let others down.

So, in order to create some time and space our day to day life, here are five tips to mentally make a switch and turn off work...

I never imagined living abroad.

Not even when my sister left Canada in 2009 to pursue her dream of living somewhere with warmer weather. Now, as an official citizen of New Zealand, she only ever returns to Canada to visit.

This past April, we decided to take a trip to the Dominican Republic together. While there, I took advantage of the time away to reflect and arrived at the realization that it was time to uproot my life and live my life as an expat...

Like all of us, I’ve also experienced varying forms of loss and grief throughout my life. When I was 19, my family dynamic completely shifted due to my father’s paralysis. A few years later, at the age of 23, an unfortunate ending to a dirt bike accident also left me paralyzed, and with it, was the loss of my identity in its entirety. Then, when I was cut from Team Canada, so too was my affiliation and recognizability as the “Team Canada” guy. Even as I share this with you today, I’m in yet another transitionary period of loss, as I prepare to close my team-building business, The Sledge Hockey Experience...

Stop running away from your problems.

The longer you let problems live on, the longer they are going to take to resolve.

The sooner you display courage and face your problems head-on, the sooner your confidence will grow and the sooner your problem will be resolved...

If you’re feeling trapped in the vicious and self-inflicted cycle of pushing yourself beyond the point of exhaustion, just to satisfy the demands of the current toxic work environment, you’re not alone. The culture of overworking yourself to the brink, with long hours as a mark of success isn't okay - or necessary.

The bottom line is that balance is achievable, we just have to ensure we actively pursue it...

As the summer season comes to an end, work returns to business as usual, and kids head back to school, we’re suddenly faced with the reality of settling back into a routine. For many of us, regaining focus and prioritizing responsibilities that might have fallen off over the summer can be daunting, but there are ways to make it easier.

So, as we return to our routines after taking some time off, I want to share with you five tips to quickly recover, regroup and recharge as you return to work...