As summer is upon us, it can bring on some feelings of despair for people as they begin to experience what many refer to as FOMO: The fear of missing out.
According to Wikipedia, it is defined as, “The feeling of apprehension that one is either not in the know about or missing out on information, events, experiences, or life decisions that could make one’s life better.”
I can recall times where I felt like I was missing out.
When friends went away to their cottages.
When I see highlight reels of people enjoying concerts on social media.
When someone had the long weekend off, and I had to work.
There are countless examples of when you might experience FOMO.
What I’d like to do is share with you a few mindset shifts to help you reframe your mind if you find yourself stuck worrying about other people’s highlight reel.
Less FOMO, More JOMO
Instead of fearing what you are missing out on, think about “The Joy of Missing Out”.
Now, you might be asking, “Why in the world would I be excited to be missing out on all the fun I see someone else having?”.
Well, there are a few ways to think about this.
For starters, as Erica Jong said, “Jealousy is all the fun you think they had.”
Just because you see photos of someone having fun, doesn’t mean they are happy.
Just because someone spent a few hundred dollars on concert tickets, doesn’t mean they could afford them.
Just because you see a couple smiling in a relationship photo doesn’t mean they have it all together.
It can be easy for your mind to go to these places, but your judgement may be false and the cause of your unhappiness.
When you think about the joy of missing out, think about what you can do with your available time and energy that will bring you joy.
Not going away this weekend? Cool. Work on a project around the house.
Can’t afford concert tickets? Cool. Brainstorm an idea how to make more money.
Not in a relationship? Cool. Think of something you would like to do with the freedom you have.
What can you focus your mind and attention towards that is within your control, maybe doesn’t cost anything, and will light you up where you are right now?
Shift From Consumer to Producer
If you’re stuck scrolling social media, this is a big mindset shift I learned from Eric Thomas.
Most people are online to consume content, whereas those people who bring the most value to the world produce content.
Shift your mindset from being a consumer to a producer.
Now, I am not saying to go out and try to create a highlight reel that makes people jealous.
What I am saying is instead of focusing on what you can get, focus on what you can give.
Do you have knowledge or information you can share that will help others?
Do you have a skill that you can teach people?
Do you have a message that someone else needs to hear?
When it comes to social media, instead of only thinking about yourself, think about what you can do for others.
When we focus on giving vs. getting, we can shift from feeling unhappy to grateful.
Turn Off Notifications
This isn’t all about social media. This is everyday life, with or without phones.
However, social media is often the root cause these days behind a lot of FOMO, and something you can do to help your situation is to turn off your notifications.
Stop allowing distractions to pull your attention in their direction.
Stop looking for that red dot in the corner of your app icon to get you to go into it and look.
Stop being reactive in how you use social media and your email. Begin to be proactive and take control over how these tools serve you.
I turned off all notifications years ago, except for What’s App for family messages and my text messages. I don’t have notifications on for any of my apps unless there is a specific reason, and I can’t say that I ever feel like I miss anything important.
I’m sure some industries or sales roles may require you to be timely with your responses, but be honest with yourself when you are getting pulled too far into the wrong direction.
Take control over your phone and turn off notifications.
Seek Out Real Connections
If you find yourself yearning for connections to have some fun with, go make some.
Call a friend.
Ask your neighbour to go for a walk.
Hit up a hiking trail and say hello to people that you run into.
Go to a public place and strike up conversations.
Often, if we can have just one or two social interactions a day, something that we intentionally created that was meaningful, it can break up the day in a way that doesn’t feel like we have totally missed out on what the rest of the world was up to.
Join a local club, volunteer, attend community events, join a sports league, host your own event like a BBQ or potluck dinner.
I also found recently that getting back on my #75Hard Challenge has both brought more happiness and social connection. I share my journey on social media and people ask questions, some join in, and it gives me reasons to invite people out on a hike with me and so many friends are always down to join.
Instead of waiting for everyone else to reach out to you, start and create something of your own that brings everyone to you!
Go Analog
Finally, go old school and get away from your computer.
Grab a piece of pen and paper and just go somewhere to sit and write, or grab an actual book and go somewhere to read.
Disconnect.
Detox.
Give yourself some mental space to fire up your mind and begin to write down some of your goals, dreams, ideas, or simply journal.
What I find is that when I am reading a good book, I usually have incredible ideas pop up in my head that I want to share. That’s where I often get ideas on what I share on social media… that can help me help other people.
I share that insight, wisdom, or idea for others to learn from.
Journaling also helps you self-reflect and create self-awareness on what you are going through.
Write down these questions on paper and then answer them, by yourself.
What is causing my FOMO?
What can I do about it?
What must change?
I have spent years writing things down, and any time that I stray away from that, I always notice how much I missed it once I get back to using pen and paper.
In Conclusion
FOMO comes from how you think and what you think about.
You have a perception about someone or something that is causing your unhappiness.
Instead of focusing externally to create your happiness, focus internally. Think about what you have control over.
What can you do about your situation that is available to you right now?
I have found that as you get older, you begin to care less about what other people are doing and realize that your own happiness comes from within.
The sooner you realize that and can put these mindset shifts into place, the better off you’ll be worrying less about what other people have or are doing, and what you can do about it to create a life that other people are instead, looking up to you.
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Whenever you are ready, if you would like to learn more, here are the best ways I can help you:
Connect with me on LinkedIn – This is where I post my best content to help you shift your mindset to drive results and embrace change. Click here
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