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How to Let Go of Control While Managing Change

Change is constant.

Especially in the world we live in today, there seems to be little certainty in what tomorrow will look like, let alone next week.

Fear creeps in, and before we know it, we feel like we have lost control, find ourselves stuck and unable to move forward.

Personally, and professionally, we can get in our own way without even knowing it. We may self-sabotage, hold ourselves back due to fear, talk ourselves out of our abilities.

All of which are ways that we “get in our own way” while trying to manage change effectively.

Recently one of my coaches, David Neagle, said that “Until you understand why you are holding onto something, you won’t know why to let it go.”, and it really resonated with me.

There have been areas of my life that I have had to battle through fear and uncertainty to “let go of something” in order to move forward.

Do you feel the same?

David then suggested that we ask our self a second question which is, “What must change?”.

What must change, for you?

For example, I was delivering a session around Boundaries and Burnout: How to Take Control when I was asked “How do I prioritize, not burn out, and not disappoint when there’s not enough time and everything seems like a priority?”.

A question that I like to ask first is “What do you need to let go of?” and “What are you holding on to that does not serve you?”.

However, David’s question made me take it to another level and ask, “What must change?”.

Think about perfectionism and how it takes you down a path towards burnout. Perhaps you keep working and working, struggling to turn off work and disconnect completely.

If you are holding onto too many tasks because you are trying to be perfect, ask yourself the question, “What must change?”.

If you are holding onto too many tasks because you are trying to be perfect, ask yourself the question, “What must change?”. Click To Tweet

(Note: If you are looking for a keynote speaker or workshop to help drive home your wellness initiatives, contact Kevin here!)

Do you find you always try to please others? Are you afraid of disappointing people?

I know that is something I have had to work through as I grew delivering keynotes and workshops on mental health, resilience, and managing change. I had to learn how to have difficult conversations and sometimes disappoint people if we weren’t a good fit for each other.


I had to learn that I can’t control every inbound lead and am not the right keynote speaker for every event. I had to learn how to stand firm in my values and sometimes walk away from business that wasn’t the right fit.

When I recall how I was initially struggling to have difficult conversations, I had to ask myself, “In order to grow, what must change?”.

What about all that is on your plate right now, do you ever stop to assess if your current priority level is necessary?

What about all that is on your plate right now, do you ever stop to assess if your current priority level is necessary? Click To Tweet

Do you have deadlines that are weeks away, but you keep pushing to get things done early?

Do you always feel like you have something on your plate and have scheduled no time for breaks?

Ask yourself “How am I contributing to this experience of burnout I am having? Why do I work so hard and so much? Is it to maintain some sense of control over something?”.

If you find yourself stuck here, ask yourself “What must change?”.

The key here is self-awareness. If we take time to reflect on what our habits and behaviours are, we can start to identify what where we get in our own way, our self-sabotage patters, where fear blocks us from making a change, and also how to be patient while managing change.

Often, we are one small mindset shift away from having a completely different experience.

That’s what The Hero Mindset keynote is all about – focusing on a shift in your mindset to help you drive results and embrace change.

But for now, just start with asking yourself this question today… “What must change?”.

(Note: If you are looking for a keynote speaker or workshop to help drive home your wellness initiatives, contact Kevin here!)

Enjoyed this article? Here are three more to help you succeed:

How to Manage Change Effectively

How to be Patient Managing Change

How to Stay Positive During The Winter

Whenever you are ready here are the 3 best ways I can help you:

  1. Get a FREE copy of my autobiography (click here)
  2. Looking for a speaker for your next event? (Contact Kevin)
  3. Learn more about The Resilience Toolbox Workshop (click here)

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